Archive for the Asthma Category

may i choose the air i breathe??

Posted in Asthma on July 30, 2007 by nixam

who decides?

I have a serious allergy to Cigarette smoke.. its really serious… and i have no idea how to communicate to people that it can kill me…

just a few days back i had an attack after almost good 10 months… and i traced it back to an exposure to cig smoke… and i prolly had no choice – i was in a public place…

can we ban public smoking… ?? or will i die before the debate gets over ?? i know of so many people who are stuggling with dust and sulphur and stupid state bus pollution… well NOTHINs (effectively) being done to reduce all this…

let me explain what an asthma attack feels like… (i wrote somethin the last time i had an attack, its on this blog..)

every breath you take is a painful struggle… and each breath leaves your body to want for more… when you’ve done this for some minutes your brain starts to burst for blood… your lungs are so tired trying to meet the blood demands from the rest of the organs that it almost becomes like a needle in ur chest…

its so damn painful that in a while you get to a state of numbness… you almost give up the struggle and trust me you’d understand the debate for euthanasia much better once you thru…

i dont have constant asthma because i stay away from my triggers and i dont carry my inhaler all the time… so most of the times i get an attack i have no access to my medicine…

i just have no sympathy for public smokers… my friend once told me…

the smoke’s goin in my lungs what the ^(*# !!?? is your problem…??

and i replied – you got a filter at your end.. but i got none…

its hard for people when they are into addictions, i know… but atleast think abt those who are affected so badly… the wounds they suffer can be so fatal …

kiosks?? but how many….

compassion?? whats that?

who gives a damn… yeah… who?

my bloodless lungs gasp for air……

Posted in Asthma on October 7, 2006 by nixam

my bloodless lungs gasp for air…

and i twitch….

my eyes they fail me…

trying to see but cant…

as if every part of me is disjoint from … ah myself!…

my hands dont pull my shoulders anymore

and i swallow myself… with every painful scant breath

truth as it seems is not privy to my struggle….

try my best to breathe but cant…. wish i could run ..

or make this ordeal shorter…

i feel like a fish … wanting to breathe .. air all around … not knowin whats wrong…

i twist again .. all of this is painless…

pain has no medium to reach my conciousness..

my bloodless lungs gasp for more air….

is there a truth someone could share…

i suck the puff teh doc gave me…

it opens up the vent… and i feel life in my veins spurting emotions and pain…

the rest of my body wants to suck the fresh blood …

my veins as if they explode … rush to reach my toes…

in all of this … i wish i could tell ….

what life really feels like….